We all need to speak our truth. No one can read our minds and that means it is our responsibility to let others know how we feel. It doesn’t matter if you have known someone for 10 years or 10 months. You have to assume that the other party has no clue as to how you feel, what you need, or what you want.

When we are communicating with another person it is not our job to determine how they are going to respond to us. Think about it like a tennis match – you don’t serve the ball and then run over to the other side of the net to return the shot the way you want it returned. You need to deal with what is returned to you.

Here’s how a conversation might flow:

“You seem upset, but you told me you weren’t upset with me so I’m letting it go. I’m choosing to believe you. If that’s not the case, I guess you’ll tell me later.”

Let them know, and then let it go.

Karen Kindred Karen Kindred has over forty years of experience in individual and couples therapy. Karen is an interactive, solution-focused therapist. Her approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. Karen recently retired and wants to share her therapeutic tools with as many people as possible. Karen holds a masters degree in social work and a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Utah.